The interview... dark clouds , walls closing in , sound of distant foot steps, rain drops falling from a windows ledge

This week i went  for my interview at university.... after  dropping my portfolio off along with the other dozen or so applicants, we where all ushered around the building  to look at the studios etc, something i had only done two weeks before when there for the open day. While the tutors look over everyone's portfolios...  20 mins later  we where all sitting outside  ready to be called in..... I was second up, thinking i was going to be interview by several tutors, only to be meet by one and a 3rd year student, explaining to me that with so many people applying this year they decided to do things  differently,  so i  struggled through the some what quick interview , feeling as if i hadn't answered  the question to the best of  my ability. Feeling i didn't say enough to tell them why and how much this meant to me. I did manage to say that it was something i had always wanted to do since  school and  after being a chef  for 20 years i wanted to do something  that was really my first passion, something I was able to do from home and wouldn't be as stressful as working in a  kitchen until I'm 65 ..... but  i didn't push home that i enjoyed  writing and  drawing and designing websites, music etc,  just everything  went out of my head, May be only drawing again for the last 5 months I'm just not good enough, Even tho tutor said my art work was more fine art then illustration, didn't think my art was  that good to be considered fine art, what ever the definition of that means , but there was light at the end of the tunnel he did like  the concertina book i had been working on. But one book won't get me in and the fact i didn't feel as if I push all the right buttons to the questions. So any way I felt as if i failed the interview. So now i have to wait 2  to 3 weeks or so to see if i have made it in ... my hopes are not high but I'm trying to keep positive. There was a  number of fresh face school leavers and couple of other mature students,  but  as i said  with some 300+ applying for  45 places my chances are slim. I wish i had  picked  been a illustrator  20 years ago instead of going into the catering industry, although cookery is creative in its own right now that I'm 40 something i really wish i was doing  something else and  that something else  is ART!